The heaviness is His Presence. It is what I feel of His very essence as He would have me experience it. For a man it can feel like a punishment but there is a positive to it. It tells me after ten years that He never leaves me. G-d also Has me enveloped in His power. The same cords of His power that G-d placed on Ezekiel to confine him to his house and prevent Ezekiel from turning from one side to the other for 430 days as he bore the punishment of the House of Israel and the House of Judah for their sins.
The same heaviness that requires the person of the spirit of the Holy G-d to set Ezekiel upon his feet. The heaviness that required Moses to have the strength to stand when the Divine Presence stood over him.
The verses from Genesis associate “waters” of the unseen realm of God with the waters of the earth. Unseen waters partitioned above and below heaven. Those below heaven fill the universe and are a part of G-d’s presence. With His power these unseen waters can do anything He wills them to do. And G-d senses and can “see” the movement of every single thing and person in creation through them.
Long ago G-d took me to a heavenly room in a vision. The purpose was to learn how to bear up to the weight of His Presence and these waters that cover the earth when I was walking with Him in the cords of His power that envelop me. It can make you very nauseous until you get used to it. I could feel my body so acutely and real in that room that creation passing before the window actually made me feel carsick as the weight of His Presence and the power around me to offset it was manipulated at His will.
Think of a cardboard box that has been left in a rain or placed in a body of water. It is so light before and so heavy afterwords. The water soaks into the box through and through and retains the water even when lifted. My body is that box. Even my insides are heavy. Though G-d decides in His power how much weight I feel at any given moment with the cords of His power.
When the vision was over and I was back in the world the weight of G-d’s Presence was much easier to live with. The weight of G-d’s Presence is primarily from the waters divided below heaven that cover the earth but also from His power that flows from His Presence.
The Torah relates (Shemos 17:11) that during the war, “When Moshe held up his hand, Yisroel prevailed; and when he let down his hand, then Amalek prevailed. But Moshe’s hands were heavy… and Aaron and Chur (who accompanied him) supported his hands.”
Rashi comments: “Because he was lax in the commandment (of waging war), and appointed another in his stead (Yehoshua), his hands became heavy.” We see then, that Moshe Rabbeinu should have gone to battle, and when he did not, was punished for his laxity.
All of the above reasons why Moshe considered himself unable to join in the actual battle (and not that G d forbid he was slothful) poses the inevitable question: Why was Moshe punished (his hands became heavy) for doing something which was seemingly so logical?
Rashi answers this question by saying that Moshe was punished for being “lax in the Mitzvah,” and not for…
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