26And I will make your tongue cleave to your palate, and you shall be dumb; you shall not be a reprover to them, for they are a rebellious breed. 27But when I speak with you, I will open your mouth, and you shall say to them, ‘Thus says the Lord God!’ He who listens will listen, and he who does not will not—for they are a rebellious breed. Ezekiel 3/26-27 Tanakh JPS 1985.
“To the greatest degree possible for any human being, Moshe’s identity and existence became one with the Creator. He surrendered himself to G-d to the extent that our sages say, “The Shechinah (Divine Presence) spoke through Moshe’s throat” (Zohar vol. 3, p. 232a)—i.e., he was G-d’s veritable mouthpiece on this earth.” —Sefer Hasichos 5749, vol. 1, p. 290, fn.”
I am a host of the L-rd of Hosts. A human vessel for divine beings within and without me enveloped with the cords of G-d’s power who directs all that I do and say. The divine beings are the person of the spirit of the Holy G-d who alighted upon me in 2007 and HaShem who is in the person of His spirit together with His Presence of the person of the Holy G-d.
The year 2007 is when they revealed themselves to me. G-d has shown me that He and the person of His spirit have been with me from the womb.
I offered my soul and self and body and spirit and my very person to G-d for guilt to endure bruising, crushing, chastisement and punishment by G-d’s words and power in exchange for long life and to be made suitable for His purpose as the man described in Isaiah 53 who is Elijah.
Being made suitable for His purpose is for G-d first and me second. As a vessel my mind and body is completely controlled by G-d through the person of His spirit and His power. Like Ezekiel my tongue is no longer my own and like Moses I am G-d’s veritable mouthpiece on earth. When I speak G-d can change my words and the matter I intended to speak of and after ten years of working on this it does not slow me down or bother me in the least.
But I am still front and center in the vessel I gave to G-d.
Whatever G-d has me do and say I still feel it as though I am doing it. Even though I know G-d is doing it and having me do it for Him. When G-d has me say I am the man described in Isaiah 53 and it does not describe Jesus or the people Israel I know that angers people.
I do not like to hurt and anger people and when G-d does things such as this that are outside of who I am it hurts me emotionally. Even though I know it is G-d that is having me do it. Even though I know it is true.
This is what the maltreatment, chastisement, punishment, bruising and crushing is for. To make me stronger emotionally. To be more of a soldier to His purpose. To protect me from the haters and naysayers and to not be embarrassed by the disbelief of others.
There are a mountain of tasks in front of me that I would not do on my own that are outside of my character. G-d will protect my emotions in His power so that I enjoy it to the full out of my anguish of chastisement and punishment. He will decide what I feel emotionally and for how long.
I have a credit line of emotional well being paid for with ten years of maltreatment, bruising, crushing, chastisement and punishment by the words and power of G-d. The stories of what He has done to me to make me suitable for His purpose over that ten years could fill a small library. A private library. The backside of G-d is a terrible thing to behold and some things are better left unsaid.