10But the Lord chose to crush him by disease, That, if he made himself an offering for guilt, He might see offspring and have long life, And that through him the Lord’s purpose might prosper.     Isaiah 53/10 Tanakh JPS 1985.



What happened to me!

I lived a life without G-d. If, when I was young someone mentioned G-d or scripture I turned away. I had no idea what Judaism was. Or Christianity. Forgiveness of sin was meaningless to me. Allah and Islam unheard of.

Then G-d came to me. Just as He came to Abraham and Moses and the prophets. Except He had taken my will to live the life I once had before He spoke to me. G-d told me He had caused my cancer and that it would return and kill me and that He could prevent that and give me long life.

And He has. After I agreed to be a host of the Lord of Hosts. After I offered my soul to Him for long life and to see my children and their children. After I agreed to be His vessel through His spirit. After I agreed to endure chastisement, punishment, crushing and bruising by His words and power until suitable for His purpose.

(I thought that would not take very long.)

To be taken to hell and back again day after miserable day some days all day sometimes a few moments. But every day I have had to suffer. Nine years now. The Tanakh does not teach of a Hell to suffer in for sins but I have been taught what G-d can do if He wanted a Hell. And He may have a short list to occupy His time. And His time is eternal.

And no one can endure it except in His power. He would not let me die or lose my mind. He created emotions. And some He did not give us. He has cast on me emotions and pain that man cannot fathom for the purpose of making me suitable for His purpose. Far more pain than a bullet to the abdomen or cancer to the colon and lungs and the emotions that come from that.

G-d thinks nothing of doing this to me. He has a purpose. He is G-d.

And what I could not see I now know. G-d is. And He is not someone to trifle with. He is the creator of all things and He is creating a new heaven for Himself. One that will occupy His mind while the new earth is formed.

A heaven of angelic spirit beings called Israel. And the foreigners among them who worship no other G-d.

No man Gods. No Allah. No Jesus. No Mohammed. No G-d who sacrifices humans or His sons. No G-d who gives virgins for sacrificing your life.

Only G-d, the creator of all things who formed Israel for His purposes. To test them and to test the world with them.

He has shown me heaven and His goodness. No suffering on earth is to great to miss it. No one deserves it more than the Jewish people.